The Chosen One

4 years ago when I first came across her I could have never foreseen how intricately my everyday discussions would be tied to her. If I'm amenable to a change of mind, then certainly she has been a compelling impetus to set my priorities. To me, she's an amazing powerhouse of abilities that common beings can only aspire to attain. With my stubborn expectations always in over-drive, I feel that the only woman I shall ever want, really want, would have to be a flesh and blood replica of her character. My crazy obsession with everything Syd precedes my reputation as a Potter fan, and it is not wrongly suspected that I’d prefer martial-arts trained fox to a marital-arts maestro!
From the moment she bursts on to the screen, wielding a new disguise every other occasion, every other vital thought oozes out of my mind, I am deaf to all other sounds (a point of major consternation to my mum) – yes! I’m completely enraptured.
Adolescence is responsible for the onslaught of a zillion crushes -yeah, been there done that- but I discovered her just as that spring faded into summery adulthood, and I have looked up to her as the-one-person with a will of steel, and an irrepressible urge to do the right thing. Sure, they make it look easy on television, but it’s really out of my league to discuss the emotional depths of a person leading a double life. All of us need a hero to revere, and to feel unnaturally connected to, I can visualize her resolve any tangle and therein lies my faith- I know I can-do-it, will-have-to, because somewhere inside me there is a notion, that I’m just as potent as the chosen one.
She’s an enigmatic beauty; her smiles embody all the happiness she creates.
Now Alias is gone, and I’m unsure how I’ll gratify my yearning, no other woman fits the bill, I know a lot of regular people, but there’s only one Sydney Bristow.

Spaghetti

This is the third time I've begun this post, and every time I find my wrting skills inadequate to precisely express my feeling.
Eventually I get jumbled up in words and can't connect back to the main topic, or else it seems like a long-drawn dramatic salutation.
Help me!

Of My Own Volitions

I don't take insults well. My face exhibits a deathly pallor and cheeks feel puffy, every second feels like it has slowed down by a massive degree, so that I can meticulously examine the expressions on my victim's face. In my mind he/she is the victim. While taking in all that soot offered to me I can savour impending reprisal and just plead with myself to wait.....
I have just realised that I fall into the category of those irritating people who have horrible 'taste' - apparently in everything. My preferences in movies, music, tv and women have always accosted severe criticisms. Forgive me if I take these personally, but this is who I am. What I like, what I hear and whatsoever I see significantly sculpts my psyche, and if standing next to me, you can dismiss my picks as repugnant, how am I to convince myself that you don't carry the same notions about me?
I swear that I shall never say "You look fat in that dress."; it hurts mate! My rant, however, is not against those who do, but against those who go "You look bloated in that attire!"
There is a vast difference in being honest and being needlessly vicious. People should learn to disagree gently. BUT, testosterone is beheld as elixir to succeed nowadays, so all common politeness goes into the dustbin, or better still, spat upon companions. And nobility is stupidity.
Next time anybody goes for the jugular, I'm walking away.

Romance at short notice....

"Saki (December 18, 1870 – November 14, 1916) was the pen name of British author Hector Hugh Munro, whose witty and sometimes macabre stories satirised Edwardian society and culture."- Wikipedia
Why I should be concentrating on this gentleman's delightful accounts of mischievous shenanigans of free-spirited protagonists when Coulouris's and Shivratri's vacuous harangues on Distributed Systems should be ardently craved in light of an impending test is a question that winks at the ruinous corollaries of the vagaries of human nature.
Even more so, it should explain my jittery state of affairs and debilitated stomach hours before any examination.
But each such nervous breakdown is preceded by an intense feeling of unrestrained ecstasy; I can't imagine giving up these guilty pleasures!

An Ode to Dropdown Lists

Just so you know, I despise you.
Your pathetically ugly face is enough to invoke disgust from the deepest corners of any heart.
Your sickening demeanor can dissipate all notions I might have of my being a compassionate human being.
My heart revels in fantasies of gory revenge but there has been devised no retribution enough to satiate me.
Your words are poison, your presence infects me like a noxious breath that slowly fills my lungs and spreads through my blood enticing me to end your wicked life.
To do so would invoke exults from a million souls.

Thousand Words++

I love flickr.com. I can't even comprehend where to begin to express my utter fascination and glorious joy. Search even the commonest of words, the results will blow your mind away. There are images of places, people, sceneries, insects and animals, everything; and such amazing shots, that even when you think you've seen the best, you are continually surprised.
Photographers....are Gods in their own right. Every picture is shockingly beautiful, and yet so simple, pertaining to the mundane......are we commoners blind? I doubt if my eyes can see the beauty of the skies or the calmness of water as meticulously as their lenses capture! Sitting across the computer's screen, I can still feel the Brighton summer, stare rapturously at St. Peter's dome in Vatican, fantasise about living in Florence and count the days until I finally make it to Quebec and Toronto.
The favourites tab in my IE is beginning to bulge, but I'm still dissatisfied, there aren't enough people I've bookmarked, so many pictures I haven't looked at yet, and I don't want to miss a thing....

Feeling Static

He's just pressed the Pause button. He doesn't know why. The one who wanted to run away has just come back from a vacation. And suddenly its not just the sky that's turned blue. Ordinary everyday things irritate him to no end, and he wonders why his firm tolerance has deserted him! Skips everything and everyone, and shuts himself up, a part of him hoping that soon they will notice it and bombard him with queries! But past experience tells him that that isn't a great thing!
Why is he waiting for the world to change?
Nah, he needs to change himself, he knows it, and his utter failure at this exercise has rendered him so cynical and disappointed that he's beginning to believe that there must be something wrong with the world, after all, no man can be so flawed! He's been hoping, waiting for a opportunity to tear him away from his present life and put him away in a bubble where individual independence is not a selfish whim.
What next? Should he extend his reservations in Utopia or snap back to reality?

My so called love-life

Staying home alone on a friday
Flat on the floor looking back
On old love
Or lack thereof
After all the crushes are faded
And all my wishful thinking was wrong
I'm jaded
I hate it

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here

Searching all my days just to find you
I'm not sure who I'm looking for
I'll know it
When I see you
Until then, I'll hide in my bedroom
Staying up all night just to write
A love song for no one

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here

I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
And watched you walk away?

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
You'll be so good
You'll be so good for me

- John Mayer

My Contribution to the Presentation

This presentation is copied from everywhere. I mean, literally! All I had to do was Google the right word combinations and figure out how the relevant information should be CCPed to make logical sense (or not, I mean - who’s reading it, huh?) Now this may seem like a child’s job but that’s where you’re mistaken! There’s just too much information, and it was I who sifted through long boring reports and papers to find the toughest, least understandable, most complicated gobbledygook that would impress the audience. Yes, I’m a Showman, sue me! Please don’t underestimate my assiduous efforts; it takes real guts and grey matter to come up with this creative stuff! Those of you who actually went to libraries and online communities and researched can’t possibly ever match my talent. To dress up fiction as swallow-able fact is a rare gift.
Thank you, O revered evaluator; thy kindness is God’s greatest gift to me.

Spontaneity

I got high. On a song, a piece of sumptuous chocolate and the sweet breath of the air that sways around this time of this year. Sometimes, even after a tough and tiring day, it doesn't take much to make you happy. Not gleefully or ecstatic. This is subtle. Slow and intoxicating, just enough to make me smile. And I wish, oh! how I wish, I could pass this magic on to everyone I see...

My Writer's Block!

"Something's missing.... and I don't know how..to..fix it...
Something's missing.... and I don't know what it is, and I don't know what it is...."

A day of rain that came long ago, and that's when I started to write. An interrupt that shouldn't have been, and now I've lost that loving feeling!
So I'm waiting, and patiently so, my words will find their way back to me soon....

I'm not like Everybody else

I wont take all that they hand me down,
And make out a smile, though I wear a frown,
And I wont take it all lying down,
cause once I get started I go to town.

Cause I'm not like everybody else,
I'm not like everybody else,

And I dont want to ball about like everybody else,
And I dont want to live my life like everybody else,
And I wont say that I feel fine like everybody else,
cause I'm not like everybody else,
I'm not like everybody else.

If you all want me to settle down,
Slow up and stop all my running round,
Do everything like you want me to,
There's one thing that I will say to you,
I'm not like everybody else,
I'm not like everybody else....

(The Kinks)

Don't let the bedbugs bite!

Its nights like these that you pine for a notebook and a nice pen to write. Anything.
But even this works!
So where shall we go?
Its nights like these when going to sleep seems like giving up. I just wish that the morning didn't follow for once (a late non-productive night on the PC leaves a trail of ulterior motives to justify this whim!) ...
Even with my drooping eyes and overexhausted ears I can go on for ages, with every ticking second lighting up my path- and I find myself being led into that elusive grove of trees again!
So hard to believe that that's what I want now, knowing as I do that I'll want to come back soon!
Is it just me?

Tick Tock

When was the last time I stopped feeling like a ball being bounced about the table by forceful racquets making me scurry to and fro?
Routine.
That one word which scares the life out of me! I see myself as a mundane product shuffled through various machines in a factory, everyday there is no change in my manufacturing process and at the end of my creation cycle I come out looking the same.
The incapability of being able to get up from the stubborn slumber and try and do something new - or even pick up an old habit lost long agob - does, in time, force one to accept that we're not just that assertive anymore. I could go and do all those little things that I've been putting off for so many days -they're just little things, done anytime,right?- but I slept late last night, I worked all day, and I'm really tired right now, and I know that I'm definitely going to find time for them soon. But I looked at the calendar today and the work I should have done by last month I havent started yet!
It boils down to this, we do all that we do and we cant manage to find time to do what we wish to do for ourselves. This coming from selfish us is quite something....our ability to procrastinate bypasses our greed*?
Not that that's a silver lining.

* I'm looking for a better word here.

The longest days of our lives

Sometimes I wonder why the best of us have to face the toughest. Those who you feel don’t deserve this. You’ve seen them as inspire you, motivate you, help you help yourself and yet when it comes to their own journey their path is fraught with difficulties. It’s anti-climatic and depressing. Hard to believe that a person who has brought happiness to so many should be threatened. Makes me go “Why?”. This is the kind of thing that would happen to others, they who are careless and never-good-enough. No, no, this just won’t do.
Who decides the course of our lives? Who decides these “things you can’t control” criteria? How can things suddenly take such a drastic turn? A little slip and the sky falls down! Does God take a strict line with those whom he considers his best? Oh he does. He’s severe. So, the best are the best despite this or because of this? I will never know.

Just a prayer. Please let this pass. Quickly.
There is just so much that a person can take. Nobody deserves the scorn of loved ones. Especially when no harm was meant.

Seasons

Seasons fade; it's just that thing that seasons do. Spring flows away like the gentle breeze that fell the old leaves from the tree in the park. So why should I talk about the hustle bustle that the oncoming months will bring..all the heat and sweat, the hurry and the worry... will I scurry to get everything in its place. For years this has been the month when I can sit back and relax, just watch time go by, no schoolwork, no assignments to bother my isolated state of affairs. As if I were given this time to breathe, and to choose whether to look ahead or behind time or to submerge myself in this current and let it take me elsewhere.
"I want to live at the center of a circle, I want to live at the side of a square."
Like riding a bicycle with no worry about the rainy weather, as the scent of fresh apples on both sides of me scintillates my senses. There is no specific destination for this journey, just my clandestine tittle-tattle with Her. Nature. On that empty road I ride all alone, let that warmth wash all over me.

Talkin' Talk

You know I get a weird kind of writer's block if I ever conceive anyone is goin to read what I'm writing which is weird in itself because I love to blow my own trumpet.Not ostentatiously. Readers and lovers of 'Pride and Prejudice' may remember a remark by Mr. Darcy "Humility is an indirect boast". Okay, I know that's not exactly what he said but well, that's what he meant, right? So coming back to the point....I love to extract praises from unsuspecting acquaintances by downplaying my very few achievements with a wave of hand and a very delicate but polite smile. Ah the pleasures of manipulating people! Now please don't think too ill of me. We all have to have ways to amuse ourselves..
Talking of amusements ...What's with this post-modern-new-age-rebellia of 'my life sucks' that's as omnipresent as.....Whatever.
I have depressing moments..really frustrating times; and I do scream and rave and rant at myself for putting myself in that particular situation, coz lets face it, our lives are really and truly a reflection of us. I don't buy concepts of fate and destiny. You are what you want to be. Really. Now this reminds me of nother gem I picked up :
" There are two great rules of life. The general rule and the particular rule.The first is that eveyone can , in the end , get what he wants if he only tries.The particular rule is that every individual is, more or less, an exception to the above rule."
I do not wish to contradict myself ! This is true only if you have unrealistic expectations from your life. And alas we do!!
So don't you think this means a change-of-point-of-view is in order?
I could be down in the deepest dumps and in just little while all ready to take life by its horns. Allow me to quote yet another line of prose:
"It isn't the big troubles in life that require character. Anybody can rise to a crisis and face a crushing tragedy with courage, but to meet the petty hazards of the day with a laugh-I really think that requires spirit."
What do you say?

Get Set Go

Seriously , I've never done this before. And for someone who prefers to keep his mouth shut most of the time for no particular reason at all , it's a weird feeling.
So anyone who's been really good friends with me knows that I 'm not really all that quiet. Yeah, I do let my tongue down! But its like a typical network with different rights to each user, you know... I have acquaintances who think I'm a deep thinker who hasn't rolled his tongue since whatever.. yet others know that I've been infected with the foot-in-mouth disease ever since I started to speak.