Tick Tock

When was the last time I stopped feeling like a ball being bounced about the table by forceful racquets making me scurry to and fro?
Routine.
That one word which scares the life out of me! I see myself as a mundane product shuffled through various machines in a factory, everyday there is no change in my manufacturing process and at the end of my creation cycle I come out looking the same.
The incapability of being able to get up from the stubborn slumber and try and do something new - or even pick up an old habit lost long agob - does, in time, force one to accept that we're not just that assertive anymore. I could go and do all those little things that I've been putting off for so many days -they're just little things, done anytime,right?- but I slept late last night, I worked all day, and I'm really tired right now, and I know that I'm definitely going to find time for them soon. But I looked at the calendar today and the work I should have done by last month I havent started yet!
It boils down to this, we do all that we do and we cant manage to find time to do what we wish to do for ourselves. This coming from selfish us is quite something....our ability to procrastinate bypasses our greed*?
Not that that's a silver lining.

* I'm looking for a better word here.

The longest days of our lives

Sometimes I wonder why the best of us have to face the toughest. Those who you feel don’t deserve this. You’ve seen them as inspire you, motivate you, help you help yourself and yet when it comes to their own journey their path is fraught with difficulties. It’s anti-climatic and depressing. Hard to believe that a person who has brought happiness to so many should be threatened. Makes me go “Why?”. This is the kind of thing that would happen to others, they who are careless and never-good-enough. No, no, this just won’t do.
Who decides the course of our lives? Who decides these “things you can’t control” criteria? How can things suddenly take such a drastic turn? A little slip and the sky falls down! Does God take a strict line with those whom he considers his best? Oh he does. He’s severe. So, the best are the best despite this or because of this? I will never know.

Just a prayer. Please let this pass. Quickly.
There is just so much that a person can take. Nobody deserves the scorn of loved ones. Especially when no harm was meant.

Seasons

Seasons fade; it's just that thing that seasons do. Spring flows away like the gentle breeze that fell the old leaves from the tree in the park. So why should I talk about the hustle bustle that the oncoming months will bring..all the heat and sweat, the hurry and the worry... will I scurry to get everything in its place. For years this has been the month when I can sit back and relax, just watch time go by, no schoolwork, no assignments to bother my isolated state of affairs. As if I were given this time to breathe, and to choose whether to look ahead or behind time or to submerge myself in this current and let it take me elsewhere.
"I want to live at the center of a circle, I want to live at the side of a square."
Like riding a bicycle with no worry about the rainy weather, as the scent of fresh apples on both sides of me scintillates my senses. There is no specific destination for this journey, just my clandestine tittle-tattle with Her. Nature. On that empty road I ride all alone, let that warmth wash all over me.

Talkin' Talk

You know I get a weird kind of writer's block if I ever conceive anyone is goin to read what I'm writing which is weird in itself because I love to blow my own trumpet.Not ostentatiously. Readers and lovers of 'Pride and Prejudice' may remember a remark by Mr. Darcy "Humility is an indirect boast". Okay, I know that's not exactly what he said but well, that's what he meant, right? So coming back to the point....I love to extract praises from unsuspecting acquaintances by downplaying my very few achievements with a wave of hand and a very delicate but polite smile. Ah the pleasures of manipulating people! Now please don't think too ill of me. We all have to have ways to amuse ourselves..
Talking of amusements ...What's with this post-modern-new-age-rebellia of 'my life sucks' that's as omnipresent as.....Whatever.
I have depressing moments..really frustrating times; and I do scream and rave and rant at myself for putting myself in that particular situation, coz lets face it, our lives are really and truly a reflection of us. I don't buy concepts of fate and destiny. You are what you want to be. Really. Now this reminds me of nother gem I picked up :
" There are two great rules of life. The general rule and the particular rule.The first is that eveyone can , in the end , get what he wants if he only tries.The particular rule is that every individual is, more or less, an exception to the above rule."
I do not wish to contradict myself ! This is true only if you have unrealistic expectations from your life. And alas we do!!
So don't you think this means a change-of-point-of-view is in order?
I could be down in the deepest dumps and in just little while all ready to take life by its horns. Allow me to quote yet another line of prose:
"It isn't the big troubles in life that require character. Anybody can rise to a crisis and face a crushing tragedy with courage, but to meet the petty hazards of the day with a laugh-I really think that requires spirit."
What do you say?

Get Set Go

Seriously , I've never done this before. And for someone who prefers to keep his mouth shut most of the time for no particular reason at all , it's a weird feeling.
So anyone who's been really good friends with me knows that I 'm not really all that quiet. Yeah, I do let my tongue down! But its like a typical network with different rights to each user, you know... I have acquaintances who think I'm a deep thinker who hasn't rolled his tongue since whatever.. yet others know that I've been infected with the foot-in-mouth disease ever since I started to speak.